Jael & Sisera:  it’s telling that of the already minuscule female representation in the Bible, Jael, the badass bitch who put a spike into the head of Sisera, the Canaanite General, is a complete unknown. Depicted as one time lovers, the woman puts a spike through her enemy’s Temple, delivering herself and her future generations. If you follow this account the metaphor should be clear.

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Jezebel & Elijah: The unflinching, merciless queen of Phoenicia, Jezebel, priestess to Baal, was a ruthless slayer of false prophets. Not even the mightiest of Yahwehs emissaries, Elijah, with his columns of flames, could cease her thirst for the blood of those who dared preach destruction against her people. Soon Elijah met his own end in a chariot of fire and it wasn’t until many years hence, betrayed by her own court, that she did fall from a window into the jaws of ravenous dogs. Her hands and face, the three most beautiful objects to ever grace the kingdom, were all that remained. Maligned to this day, Jezebels name is synonymous with the terror she struck into the hearts of all who would peddle false religion, unafraid to mete out violence to those who preach it. She is truly the baddest bitch of the whole goddamn Bible

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Salome & John: hated throughout history for seeing the truth behind a false prophet, Salome baptized John in his own blood, the only baptism the eater of locusts, the harbinger of a false messiah, was ever truly worthy of